-->MAYYORS<--
THE HUNCHES (pdx, in the red records)
THE BLIMP (eugene, or)
THE PIZZAS (sac, daggerman records)
8pm SHARP (STRICTLY enforced to make sure all bands get to play, btw)...FUNCASTLE. 230000 L ST.SACTO. BRING $5 OR MORE FOR THE BANDS ON TOUR.
RULES FOR STAYING ALIVE:
1. IF YOU START TO GET THIRSTY AT THE SHOW, DRINK ANOTHER BEER. THIS IS THE LAST HUNCHES TOUR, AND PROBABLY ONE OF THEIR LAST SHOWS. EVER? THAT IS UNKNOWN, BUT THEY HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST FOR SOME TIME, AND THE CLOCK DOES IN FACT APPEAR TO BE TICKING. WHICH MEANS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY EAT THEM BEFORE THEY ARE GONE COMPLETELY. CHRIS GUNN IS IN THIS BAND, HE IS ALSO IN THE HOSPITALS AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE DUDES AND PLAYS A MEAN GUITAR. IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS BAND BEFORE YOU KNOW TO EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED, BUT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU CAN CHECK THEM OUT HERE:
http://www.myspace.com/thehunches
2. IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING, YOU SHOULD DO THAT THING WHERE YOU HOLD YOUR THROAT AND PRETEND YOU ARE CHOKING. I DON'T KNOW CPR BUT I HAVE SEEN IT ON TV AND WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE STOMACH TO CLEAR THE AIR PASSAGE. THE BLIMP I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT, BUT REVIEW OF THEIR MYSPACE PAGE LISTS ONE LUCAS GUNN AMONGST THE CAST MEMBERS. ARE GUNN BROS HOSTING WEST COAST SKUDGE GUITAR WORKSHOP 2009 OR WHAT? THERE'S SOME SONGS HERE YOU CAN PREVIEW:
http://www.myspace.com/mastertheblimp
3. IF YOU GET HUNGRY, THE PIZZAS WILL BE THERE SERVING UP THE HOT PUNS, NIRVANA COVERS, AND GENERALLY BEING ALL FRIENDLY WITH EVERYONE. I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY WHEN 2009'S PIZZA THEMED BAND STOP BEEFING SO HARD AND FINALLY PLAY TOGETHER AT A PIZZA BAND FEST WITH LAUGHING PIZZA, PERSONAL & THE PIZZAS, THE PIZZAS, PIZZA (DALLAS, VARNA, NEWTOWN, QUINCY, AND HOUSTON CHAPTERS), CHEESE PIZZA, PIZZA PARTY, FROZEN PIZZA, WET PIZZA, PIZZA BOB, FAT PIZZA, PIZZA PIE, PIZZA MONSTERS, EMERGENCY PIZZA PARTY, PIZZA FISH, AND PIZZA SS. THOSE ARE ALL ACTUAL BANDS BY THE WAY. THE SHOW WILL BE HOSTED BY PIZZA RECORDS, WHICH IS AN ACTUAL RECORD LABEL. THEY SHOULD DO AN ACTUAL COMP WITH ALL OF THOSE BANDS ON IT. HERE'S A LINK TO THE PIZZAS THING:
http://www.myspace.com/lovethepizzas
4. MAYYORS ARE PLAYING LAST. WE JUST FINISHED A BATCH OF TOILET WINE AND WILL HAVE COPIES OF SOME RECORD YOU DON'T HAVE YET AND HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE AT THE SHOW. TALK TO US ABOUT THAT ONLY AFTER YOU'VE BOUGHT MERCH FROM THE HUNCHES AND/OR THE BLIMP. WE DON'T PLAN TO SELL COPIES TO YOU UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME OF THEIR CHERRY MERCH IN YOUR HAND. AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HOW YOU ALREADY HAVE THEIR RECORDS AT HOME, OR HOW YOUR HUNCHES SHIRT IS IN THE WASH RIGHT NOW. YOU SHOULD BUY CRAP FROM THEM ANYWAY ON PRINCIPLE. OF COURSE, IF THEY DON'T HAVE ANY MERCH FORGET I SAID THIS.
5. ALSO, DON'T BE A DICK: THIS IS A HOUSE SHOW AND PEOPLE TEND TO BE LOOSE WITH THE DOOR, JUST MAKE SURE YOU FIGURE OUT A WAY TO PUT $5 OR MORE INTO THE TOURING BAND'S GAS FUND. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOURSELF LIKE A BIG BOY OR GIRL: DON'T WORRY YOUR MAJESTY, I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE THE TSK TSK NOISE, WAG MY FINGER, GRAB YOU BY THE ANKLES, TURN YOU UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKE WHATEVER I CAN LOOSE FROM YOUR POCKETS. AND AFTER THE SHOW I'LL BE CONDUCTING A WORKSHOP TO SHOW YOU HOW TO TIE YOUR FUCKING SHOES. I'VE SIGNED UP SEVERAL MEMBERS OF DJ RICK TO DRESS UP IN BIB OVERALLS WALKING AROUND SHIRTLESS WITH HOCKEY MASKS ON TO HELP ME WITH THIS. WE ARE EVERYWHERE, AND WE ARE WATCHING YOU AND WE WILL HAVE OUR PREDATOR VISION TURNED ON. IT WON'T BE ALL BAD THOUGH, I'LL BE BARTENDING AND REENACTING SCENES FROM THE MOVIE COCKTAIL: RANDOM FREE BEER, GURPLE III (SON OF BURPLE, GRANDSON OF GURPLE, HOLIEST OF HOLIES), CUTTY SARK SUICIDES, BLUEBERRY MARGARITAS, INCREDIBLE HULKS, RAVE WHISTLES, PRUNO MOJITOS, AND GIN HANDLES. SEE YOU THERE?